Learn to forgive yourself

There is this story of a young boy around the neighborhood who broke a bottle on his dad’s head, in what was described as a senseless assault. It was not surprising that there will be negative reports about him sooner than later, but no one expected that he would go that level of crazy on his father.

Ever since he began high school, his behaviour started to change. He joined a group of friends that were bullies at school, and despite every advice his parents gave to him to change his ways, he continued to go downhill with his life. The young boy was an extreme person; he liked to prove that he was something, and this led to him being the youngest person to pick up habits like smoking a joint, and getting drunk on a frequent basis. His father did everything he knew to help him change his ways- he would take him on walks to talk to him, he took him to counsellors, but nothing seemed to work on him. He grew worse in his senior high, and became that guy that nobody could talk to.

It happened that one night after partying with his friends and getting drunk, he managed to get back home with great difficulty. He was mostly unaware of where he was or what was happening when he got home, so he was surprised to see the sketch of a man through his blurred eyes, standing in front of a door. He didn’t know nor recognize who it was, so he felt threatened; which made him to attack the person he was seeing with a bottle, unbeknownst to him that it was his dad. Thankfully, the mother who was at home that morning, called the emergency services to come and save her bleeding husband.

When the effect of the alcohol cleared and the young man learnt about what he had done, he wept bitterly and became inconsolable. How could he have done this? How could he have attacked his dad for doing him no wrong? He rushed to the hospital to see how his dad was doing and the sight of him stained in his own blood broke him even more. It hurt him to see that the blood stains on his father were caused by him, and as he cried and reflected soberly about his actions, he made up his mind that he would change. If being a bad boy would make him almost kill his father, then there was no point being that stupid anymore.

This event became his life altering event. It made him realize how far he had fallen, but he made up his mind to change for the better. He apologized to his dad, his mum, and to everyone else whom his actions might have hurt. Everyone forgave him; they welcomed and encouraged his new leaf of life, but there was only one problem; He could get himself to forgive himself. Every time he remembered the stitches and bandages on his father’s head, he will snap into depression, and sometimes would hurt deeply for a long time before he would be fine.

When the dad realized that he was struggling with depression because of what happened, he visited him, and assured him that he had forgiven him, and that as far as he was concerned, the incident does not exist anymore. ‘But I did it, I almost killed you. If you had died from the wounds I inflicted on you, would this forgiveness have mattered? I know I’m trying to be a better person, but that doesn’t erase the fact that I’m a bad person.’ he added. The dad promised him that he had forgiven him, and that what he was currently doing to himself was hurting him.

He believed his father. He knew the man to be who he said he was, so he accepted his father’s forgiveness and began to build up his life. Today he is one of the most successful man that has lived in the area, and his story became the motivational story for the young boys and girls who view being misguided as an aspiration, rather than a distraction.

There are many people today who have had reasons to experience a life altering event- many of which may have been as a result of being misguided with their thoughts about life at different stages in their lives. It could also be that there are people who have many things they wish they could take back, they wish they could delete from history, which often taunts them despite how good they have become, or are doing now. However, the truth remains that those life altering events, no matter how perceived they are, were necessary for the change needed in your life to happen.

Therefore, these events are something to be grateful for, no matter how painful and uncomfortable the memory might be. It is only when you forgive yourself that you can find the strength to move past the details of your unfortunate history, and use it as a building block for your destiny. It begins with you; it begins with you having the right perspective, and learning to let go of the past. If you will ever be anything worth being tomorrow, it must start from you overcoming what you were yesterday.

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