Alabama Elects First Necrophile to Congress

Alabama became the first state to elect a known necrophile into Congress on Tuesday.

Republican Roy Moore won the U.S. Senate seat despite charges that he trolled morgues in the Montgomery area in the 1970s and had sex with corpses he pulled from the freezer.

The Republican National Committee defended its endorsement of Moore, stating that although cultural views have since evolved, copulating with the dead was a common practice among Alabamans in the 1970s.

“It is crass to say that Moore had sex with dead bodies,” said RNC Chairperson Ronna Romney McDaniel. “He kissed them tenderly on the mouth and frequently knew their names. I would say that he made love to them. That said, all the corpses involved were above the age of consent.”

President Trump tweeted that it was more important to elect a conservative who would vote against abortion, immigration and Obamacare, than to get caught up in “moral whining” about digging up the body of a woman who died in 1968, dressing her in a mesh bodysuit, keeping her in one’s cellar for more than twenty years, repairing her flesh with wax and inserting a paper tube into her decaying vagina to allow for intercourse, as Moore is alleged to have done.

Moore defeated his Democratic rival, Doug Jones, by more than 200,000 votes.

“It’s a proud day for Alabama,” said Tuscaloosa voter Pamela Beaufort, who says she plans to be cremated.

Moore will be sworn into office on January 2.

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