Mirror Talk

How dare I? How dare I judge others who are putting hard working into themselves. It is because of my envy. I yearn to have the dedication and skill of these jocks and jockettes.

How dare I automatically assume they are narcissists because they are staring into the mirrors as they work out. They are having a mirror talk with themselves.

They are ensuring their form is proper. They are looking at the next muscle group to pinpoint and grow. They are appreciating their own progress. And I am jealous of it all. I did not really have this insight until just the other day when I caught myself looking in the mirror at my body as I went through my line up of reps. I let my emotions run rampant instead of looking at what they are doing.

Your thoughts are not your own

Our first thoughts come from our society’s conditioning. It is the imposter syndrome taking grip on my consciousness. I try not to compare my body, but I get lost in how my level 2 measures up to someone else’s level 84. When I start going down this train of thought, I need to catch myself, take a beat and remember where I am on my journey and keep trekking forward.

Mind Shift

I have had to make a shift in how I view myself as an average gym goer to becoming an athlete. I joined the military because I wanted someone to force me into a healthy lifestyle. But I never really considered being an athlete as I dragged my feet through the conditioning drills and never getting better. It is because I did not look beyond the checklist. I did not want to understand what purpose each movement and exercise served. I just half-assed until the timer rang, then moved on to the next station to half-ass those exercises. I have finally made it to the right state of mind. I have finally grown to realize that you cannot do that. I have had to shift my mind from focusing on just making do on a specific test to becoming an athlete.

You need to look at yourself

You should not be afraid of the mirror. I realize now my envy was getting in my way of improving. I would get embarrassed trying new exercises, but now I should not be worried about others. I know it is easier said than done. Believe me it has been about four years since I started my fitness journey. And it has been such a slow pace. Most of my battle is fought with my mental barriers. Realizing that even though I did not play sports in grade school, does not mean that I cannot become an athlete now. To adjust those thoughts of incompetence, I have had to have hard conversations with myself. You can only have a little persuasion with pen and paper instead of looking at yourself straight in the eye.

The fight is always with your mind. You need to find the right mirror, a distinct perspective and some good lighting for these talks.

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